While we were sitting in her car having one of our heart-to-heart sessions, my friend, Kathryn, recommended I listen to a show that she found beneficial. That show was called Being Here. She sent me the link later that night. I pulled up the podcast the next day. Months later, I, too am a huge fan! I’ve since contacted the show’s hosts, Ariel and Shya Kane, and they so graciously agreed to let me interview them for my blog. Amidst their busy schedule of hosting their weekly radio show, leading their “Monday Night Alive” workshops in New York City, and traveling to Germany in October to host their “Freedom to Breathe and License to Live” courses, they found time to answer my questions. I am eternally grateful!
Here is our conversation:
The first time I listened to your show, Being Here, I played it in between doing tasks at work. Without really getting a sense of what the show was all about, I had to put my headphones down for a little while to run an errand. When I picked them up to tune back in, you were talking to a woman who was having difficulties with her mother. She was upset that her mother told a story to friends and got her age wrong, even though she’d told her mother several times before how old she was at the time of the incident that the mother was telling the story about. She thought her mother was being intentionally careless and hurtful.
I expected that you would have taken the daughter’s side by telling her how to interpret her mother’s action or by making suggestions of what she might say in order to confront her mother about this tendency to forget details.
Instead, you actually lit into the woman herself!—and what I mean by “lit in” is that you challenged the woman herself. You asked her, “How old are you?” And she said 60, I believe. Uh-oh, I thought. First of all, it takes a lot of guts to ask a woman her age.
You basically told her that she was too old to think that she still needed to prove to her mother that she was an adult. To tell a woman who has just confessed her age that she is “too old” to do something… Wow! I was captivated. What was going to happen next? Was the lady going to go off?
You then told her something that transformed my way of thinking. You told her that her mother was not the problem. The problem was that she was COMPLAINING.
When I heard this, I realized that I was listening to a show unlike any other I’d listened to up to that point. I was impressed and surprised that you didn’t let the caller throw a pity party for herself. You challenged her to draw power from the vantage point that she had in the situation: her attitude towards it.
Could you tell me more about your point of view and how you’ve come to take your approach to transformation?
Response from Ariel and Shya on their approach to “Instantaneous Transformation“:
Great stuff, right! If you’re in New York City, you might enjoy attending one of their Monday Night Alive workshops. I’m planning to go! They’ve let me know about a promotion they have running right now. “Like” their Facebook Page, and you’ll get a coupon for half off of their Monday Night Alive workshop in NYC.
Stay tuned for the rest of this four-part blog series with the Kanes!